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Flirting Techniques

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The first key to successful flirting is not an ability to show off and impress, but the knack of conveying that you like someone. If your "target" knows that you find him or her interesting and attractive, he or she will be more inclined to like you.

Conveying that you like someone, and judging whether or not the attraction is mutual, clearly involves a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication skills. When you first meet new people, their initial impression of you will be based 55% on your appearance and body language, 38% on your style of speaking, and only 7% on what you actually say.

  1. Do initiate flirtation with people of roughly the same level of attractiveness as yourself.
  2. Don't flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.
  3. Use non-verbal flirting techniques: Eye Contact (hold your target's gaze for a few seconds), Interpersonal Distance, Posture (echo your target's posture), Facial Expressions (SMILE!), Touch, and Vocal Signals (aim for moderation in volume and tone, with some variation in pitch and pace).
  4. Opening lines: Ask a direct, open question.
  5. Turn-Taking: Make sure both parties contribute equally to the conversation.
  6. Talking: Stay positive, and don't reveal too much about yourself too soon.
  7. Listening: Give verbal and non-verbal signals to show that you're paying attention and interested.
  8. Reciprocal Disclosure: Maintain a balance between your disclosures and those of your target.
  9. Humor: Make jokes to reduce anxiety and establish a relaxed mood.
  10. Parting: If you'd like to see this person again, you have to ask!
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